Scrambling to find the "right" words to say, ( the billion thoughts fueled by my outrageous emotions)... so am leaving this note, or rather- think of it as a message, a short-lived part of my life that awoke my existence,....exceeded my expectations, but fell short. This is my message or rather, apart of me: listen with leverage. Walk with me,..April 21st, the year of primitive maturity, or so I would come to find out. How did we get to the actual year, 2016...say that in full-( twooo-thousaaand and six-what)...yeeah, mind-buggling. Two hours after an exciting project, my heart is over the moon,... I had just received news of working with an awesome company...later that day, I got another miracle..."YOU" Now that I think about it, - "I instantly fell for your 6 feet tall structure ", but as we talked, your gentle aura was a captivating factor. Your whole demeanor was authentic. A few minutes before-.. (I felt gazing eyes over me- someone had all their attention squeezed at me),..you looked at me, very meticulously, yet in a way that wasn't overbearing. My introverted-subconscious self, had to escape; attention on me, is a scary. I walked away,...but your persistent self had to follow me, and as the modern, subjective couples of this day and age say, "The rest is history". The time we spent together, awoke the "demons"in my me. I had this confidence, like never before, the way you looked at me, gave a certified reassurance of some sort...it's crazy....The dates we went on, your 2am text, curious of my plans the next day,....the fact that you finished reading "The 5th wave" with me, touched every nerd spot I have. Your weird food fetish,...I haven't laughed like that in a while, The gap came to play.....your calls subsided, and eventually became non-existent,...you were here, but not "here",... I pulled away,...I was scared, scared of losing this feeling I had, but more frightened of loosing you. This was new to me,....I was shriveled into a snowball, but you also pulled away,... Momentum defaulted equilibrium, and eventually we lost balance. I can't say, why our painting turned out like "this",...all I can reaffirm, is that am hopeful in dribbling a new cardboard,... Am reaching out for closure,... " Facing fears, Opening up...finding light in my creative cage", - Love is when all of your happiness and sadness, are dependant on another person". A PAGE FROM MY LIFE.- I give you my feelings, give me leverage. Thank you for listening Love Mandy.
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